«　WEEK 6　DAY 4　»

　　Matt. 19:5-6 …”For this cause shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall be joined to his wife; and the two shall be one flesh.” So then they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has yoked together, let man not separate.

　　The real, actual, and prevailing function of the elders is to minister life, to feed people….The saints may come to you, especially the young ones, to get your help concerning their marriage, their choice in marriage, and even concerning their dating. I do not mean that we older ones should not help them, but there is a great temptation in helping them in these kinds of things. Eventually, we could fall into directing them or even somewhat controlling them. This is very dangerous.

　　Only the Lord knows who is a good match for another person. We do not know…. In the church life all we can do concerning the young people’s marriage is to minister life to them. We must help them to look to the Lord’s leading, to learn how to walk in the Spirit, and we should also help them not to indulge in lust or to have their own taste or choice….We should not try to conduct them into a marriage or match them. (CWWL, 1984, vol. 2, “Elders’ Training, Book 4: Other Crucial Matters concerning the Practice of the Lord’s Recovery,” pp. 455-456)

　　There should not be any kind of controlling among us concerning the young saints’ marriage….There is a temptation that the older ones among us would think that they could help the young ones. This, however, is the human hand, not the Lord’s hand.

　　The matter of marriage is very complicated and is most perplexing. We should try to be very objective and try to render life to the young ones. Never try to bring two people together without any caution. This is dangerous….There is no need for us to touch this matter in a natural way. We should leave this matter to the Lord and pray for the ones concerned. We should render as much life as we can to help them and never indicate who is their best match. We do not control, and even the more, we do not conduct or indicate what brother or sister might be best for them. If we leave this matter to the Lord, we will save the church much trouble.

　　On the other hand, when the elders realize that some young saints are dating in an improper way, they must render them some help. They should tell the ones concerned that it is altogether not safe for a young brother to be with a young sister in a loose way. Also, the elders should help them to consider their future. They should consider the matter of not getting engaged too quickly before marriage. They also must consider things regarding their family, their parents, their job, their financial situation, and other responsibilities. This is a real help in their human life. Sometimes young people are careless and are too much in their lust. We should help them to learn how to pray about their marriage and how to look to the Lord to restrict their indulgence and lust. We have to help them in morality, in human life, in spirituality, and in the Lord’s way. They are young in the Lord and need this kind of help. On the one hand, we should not interfere with them; on the other hand, we have to help them in morality, in life, in human living, in taking care of the future, concerning their parents, and even in praying and seeking the Lord concerning the one whom they marry not being their choice. They should be helped to leave this matter to the Lord. As elders, we should do this because we are shepherding the flock….To help the saints in the matter of their weddings is a “pure help.” There is nothing wrong with this. To help them sign the papers for their marriage does not mean that we are doing our best to bring them together. The Lord has already brought them together. (CWWL, 1984, vol. 2, “Elders’ Training, Book 4: Other Crucial Matters concerning the Practice of the Lord’s Recovery,” pp. 456-457)

　　Further Reading: CWWL, 1984, vol. 2, “Elders’ Training, Book 4: Other Crucial Matters concerning the Practice of the Lord’s Recovery,” ch. 9