太十九5~6　　…“为这缘故，人要离开父母，与妻子联合，二人成为一体”…这样，他们不再是两个，乃是一个肉身了。所以神所配偶的，人不可分开。

　　长老们真正、实际、普遍的功用，乃是供应生命，喂养人。…圣徒们会到你跟前来，特别是青年人，盼望在他们婚姻、婚姻对象的拣选、甚至交往的事上，得着你的帮助。我的意思不是说，我们年长的人不该帮助他们，但在这类的事上帮助他们，有很大的试探，叫我们陷于指引他们，甚至有几分控制他们。这是非常危险的。

　　只有主知道谁是一个人的好配偶；我们不知道。…在召会生活中，对于青年人的婚姻，我们所能作的就是供应他们生命。我们必须帮助他们仰望主的引导，学习如何在灵里生活行动。我们也该帮助他们不要沉湎于情欲，不要有自己的爱好和拣选。…我们不该想要指引他们进入婚姻，或为他们撮合。（李文集一九八四年第二册，五八七至五八九页。）

　　Matt. 19:5-6 …”For this cause shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall be joined to his wife; and the two shall be one flesh.” So then they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has yoked together, let man not separate.

　　The real, actual, and prevailing function of the elders is to minister life, to feed people….The saints may come to you, especially the young ones, to get your help concerning their marriage, their choice in marriage, and even concerning their dating. I do not mean that we older ones should not help them, but there is a great temptation in helping them in these kinds of things. Eventually, we could fall into directing them or even somewhat controlling them. This is very dangerous.

　　Only the Lord knows who is a good match for another person. We do not know…. In the church life all we can do concerning the young people’s marriage is to minister life to them. We must help them to look to the Lord’s leading, to learn how to walk in the Spirit, and we should also help them not to indulge in lust or to have their own taste or choice….We should not try to conduct them into a marriage or match them. (CWWL, 1984, vol. 2, “Elders’ Training, Book 4: Other Crucial Matters concerning the Practice of the Lord’s Recovery,” pp. 455-456)

　　我们中间对于青年圣徒的婚姻，不该有任何一种控制。…有一个试探，就是我们中间年长的人自以为能帮助青年人。然而，这是人的手，不是主的手。

　　婚姻的事非常复杂，最容易令人陷入迷阵。我们该尽量客观，尽量把生命供应青年人，绝不要轻率地去撮合；这是危险的。…我们无须天然地来摸这件事。我们该把这件事留给主，为有关的人祷告。我们该尽所能的供应生命来帮助他们，绝不要指明谁是他们最好的配偶。我们不控制，甚至不指引或指明哪位弟兄或姊妹可能最适合他们。我们若将这样的事留给主，我们会为召会省去许多难处。

　　另一面，长老们若是察觉有些圣徒有不正确的交往，就必须给他们一些帮助。他们应当告诉有关的人说，青年弟兄和青年姊妹轻率地在一起，是非常不妥当的。长老们也该帮助他们考虑自己的前途。他们该考虑在结婚之前，不要太匆促订婚。他们也必须考虑双方家庭、父母、职业、经济情况和其他责任等有关的事。这是在为人生活上给他们真实的帮助。有时候青年人很轻率，过于在情欲里。我们该帮助他们学习如何为自己的婚姻祷告，如何仰望主来约束自己的情欲。我们必须在道德、为人生活、属灵和主的路上帮助他们。他们在主里年轻，需要这样的帮助。一面，我们不该干涉他们；另一面，我们必须在道德、生命、为人生活、前途的顾虑、双方的父母等事上帮助他们，甚至在他们祷告并寻求主的事上帮助他们，使他们结婚的对象不是出于自己的拣选。他们该得着帮助，把这件事留给主。…在结婚的事上帮助圣徒们，乃是一种“纯帮助”。这样作没有错。帮助他们在结婚证书上签字，意思不是我们尽力撮合他们，乃是主已经把他们带在一起了。（李文集一九八四年第二册，五八九至五九○页。）

　　参读：关乎主恢复的实行其他几件要紧的事，第九章。

　　There should not be any kind of controlling among us concerning the young saints’ marriage….There is a temptation that the older ones among us would think that they could help the young ones. This, however, is the human hand, not the Lord’s hand.

　　The matter of marriage is very complicated and is most perplexing. We should try to be very objective and try to render life to the young ones. Never try to bring two people together without any caution. This is dangerous….There is no need for us to touch this matter in a natural way. We should leave this matter to the Lord and pray for the ones concerned. We should render as much life as we can to help them and never indicate who is their best match. We do not control, and even the more, we do not conduct or indicate what brother or sister might be best for them. If we leave this matter to the Lord, we will save the church much trouble.

　　On the other hand, when the elders realize that some young saints are dating in an improper way, they must render them some help. They should tell the ones concerned that it is altogether not safe for a young brother to be with a young sister in a loose way. Also, the elders should help them to consider their future. They should consider the matter of not getting engaged too quickly before marriage. They also must consider things regarding their family, their parents, their job, their financial situation, and other responsibilities. This is a real help in their human life. Sometimes young people are careless and are too much in their lust. We should help them to learn how to pray about their marriage and how to look to the Lord to restrict their indulgence and lust. We have to help them in morality, in human life, in spirituality, and in the Lord’s way. They are young in the Lord and need this kind of help. On the one hand, we should not interfere with them; on the other hand, we have to help them in morality, in life, in human living, in taking care of the future, concerning their parents, and even in praying and seeking the Lord concerning the one whom they marry not being their choice. They should be helped to leave this matter to the Lord. As elders, we should do this because we are shepherding the flock….To help the saints in the matter of their weddings is a “pure help.” There is nothing wrong with this. To help them sign the papers for their marriage does not mean that we are doing our best to bring them together. The Lord has already brought them together. (CWWL, 1984, vol. 2, “Elders’ Training, Book 4: Other Crucial Matters concerning the Practice of the Lord’s Recovery,” pp. 456-457)

　　Further Reading: CWWL, 1984, vol. 2, “Elders’ Training, Book 4: Other Crucial Matters concerning the Practice of the Lord’s Recovery,” ch. 9